Tag: awareness

New Year 2072 B.S.

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Happy New Year 2072 B.S. to everyone inside and outside this world of WordPress  ! I’m excited because it is the Nepalese New Year YAYYY.
Which is a little weird because I am not really doing anything to celebrate it. It is just another weekday for people living away from home. But, the weather is gorgeous today, and I finally took out my summer clothes from the back of my closet where they were rotting away so YAYYYY

I never make resolutions on New Year, and don’t do much reflection either but since I feel pretty good today, here are some of the things I did/learnt/discovered etc etc. in the last year-

1. Gifted myself the “A Song of Ice and Fire” series on my birthday and read all five books over the summer. Also binge watched all Game of Thrones episodes. I cannot explain how much I LOVED those books and the series and Tyrion Lannister. There are a very few things that have truly impressed me, and GOT (ASOIAF) turned me into this obsessed person who reads all fan theories and keeps tabs on everything related to Game of Thrones. If Game of Thrones was a person, I would probably be in prison for being a stalker.

2. Joined the Public Issues Advisory Committee at the Canadian Cancer Society. I’ve been a public issues youth advocate for nearly two years now, and am the youngest member advisor at the committee. I got cool opportunities to meet some MPPs, and am looking forward to all future events !

3.  Volunteered at Holland Bloorview Kids Rehab Hospital for nearly a year (I’m on break now, because exams !). I love everything about that hospital. It taught me to be patient and kind and attentive to kids with disabilities.

I learnt unique ways of communicating with the non-verbal clients, became the air-hockey champion of the basement, watched Frozen a million times, sang Let It Go two million times, went Trick or Treating on Halloween, dressed up as Santa’s elf on Christmas, baked and danced and painted and read and made bracelets and pictures and tons of goody crafts for the kids.

Sometimes I feel like I go there every week, looking forward just to play board games and puzzles since I have NO TIME for them at home/school. It is extremely relaxing and therapeutic for me, until I’m outsmarted by a 5-year old in a wheelchair and then I think, Losing monopoly never felt so good.

4. After struggling for years, I finally got diagnosed with ADHD- combined type, major depressive disorder and anxiety. I immersed myself in research about my disorder and mental health issues, and it has been the most liberating thing in my life. I now understand why I behave the way I do. I love that I’m one of the 15 million with this cognitive disorder and I am so thankful that I moved to a country with resources and am finally getting the right support and help.

5.  I discovered that I love communicating, expressing, public speaking, advocacy and community service more than anything else in this world. My creativity and strengths lie in these areas and I’ve finally stopped being ashamed that I can never understand math or physics or chemistry like some kids I grew up with. I learnt that I’d been wasting my time studying and focusing on things I do not love or comprehend to the least, because culturally I felt they were “the smart choices”.

After I was diagnosed with ADHD, my psychiatrist told me that I should be utilizing my strengths and not beating myself up about things I can’t excel in.

I started reflecting on moments – when my philosophy teacher told me that my paper on suicide was phenomenal and I had a brilliant knack for words and persuasion, when my professional communications prof said that I would make an excellent business leader & she would buy any product I sold because my presentation ideas and public speaking approaches were excellent, when my global health instructor said that my scholarly paper on mental health policy was worth being published, when customers at work told me that my smiling face made their days better, when kids at the hospital hugged me and told me they would miss me when they get discharged, when readers said that they appreciated me writing this blog; all of these made me realize that I should focus on the things I am good at and make a career out of it.

I do not make any resolutions, but I do plan to eat well, spend time outside in the nature, blog, go to my meditation sessions and therapy, focus on the things I am passionate about without overloading myself, be an advocate and a mental health wellness educator and most importantly, remain proud of all the hard work I’ve done and the people I’ve touched.

I hope you all have a beautiful and a healthy year 🙂

Ways My ADHD Brain Functions (or stops functioning !)

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I was with a group of friends earlier this week and one asked me how I was doing with my meds. This led to a conversation about ADHD, and another friend rolled her eyes and said – “I don’t even think ADHD is a real thing. I procrastinate as well, but doesn’t mean I need to go to a doctor and start popping pills.”

Her statements made me realize why I started this blog in the first place. Aside from sharing my depressed feelings in metaphors, I wanted to use this blog to start a platform where I could tell people that ADHD is more than just “procrastinating”.

It is procrastinating severely. Ha ha.

Jokes aside, I am going to try my best to explain some of the things I go through-

Things people (mostly me !) with ADHD go through-

  1. We cannot concentrate. Most people mistake it as not being able to concentrate ONLY on school work. Any one can do that. But it takes special ability to lose focus while talking to people, listening, doing basic chores like cleaning or laundry, working in customer service (where you have a memory span of a goldfish and forget what your client just asked of you), missing appointments every single goddamn time, forgetting to go to work, classes, or other commitments. My house caught on fire a few years ago because I forgot to turn the electric heater off (True story !). You get the point.
  2. We fidget. A LOT. My lack of ability to sit still or fall asleep if I sit still too much has caused me a lot of trouble. I’ve been called impolite and uncourteous, customers at work always ask me if I’m cold or if my hands are dirty because I keep on rubbing them together like a mad scientist plotting my next evil invention.
  3. Our minds work at the speed of light. Between writing point number 1 and this sentence, I chatted with two of my friends, played a level of Frozen Free Fall (don’t judge !), talked to my sister, checked in with my dad about dinner, googled life goals and wasted about 45 minutes of my time. Just magnify this scenario by several hours and you will watch your entire life pass by.
  4. We are very impulsive. Impulsivity comes in different forms. For me, it is excessive talking, interrupting people ALL the time, answering questions not directed to me, hyper social behaviour (jumping up and down like I won a medal when I beat my 5 year old cousin’s score in Candy Crush), embarrassing parents by blurting out family secrets at dinner parties, LOL.
  5. People with ADHD usually have accompanying depression, anxiety or other disorders that affect every single aspect of their lives including friendships and relationships. I will not go into much detail about that here, my entire blog is the proof how sad I am.
  6. One question I’ve received from quite some people is – “But how do you have a disorder when you are so smart and confident ?” It saddens me that people are very quick to assume anyone with a mental illness or disorder is embedded with stupidity, clumsiness, shyness, ineptness  in their genes. This stereotyping is the reason why I feel it is important to talk about mental health and educate people that any person is susceptible to problems at any point of their lives. Having ADHD is not being stupid or failing school all the time. On the contrary, people with ADHD are quite smart and creative, and there are some bloggers I follow who prove that. It is our cognitive difference (caused by pure chemistry in our brain tissue and not the lack of will/determination to do something) that makes our learning and behavioural abilities different from the ones structured by the society. This results in most people with ADHD struggling in various aspects of life, leaving them feeling different, frustrated and anxious.

But guess what ? Different is good. Though I’m struggling with lots of things because of my ADHD, anxiety and depression, I am also happy that I am creative, confident, have my unique strengths and talents that make me who I am. Taking medication has helped me immensely in all aspects of my life. I have become a (bit) more organized, can sit in a place for hours without fidgeting, can listen to people without interrupting, prioritize my to-do-list and actually do chores at home! But I’ve also realized that medications don’t solve everything. I am equally or less lazy and still procrastinate for hours if I don’t set my mind on something. Nonetheless, life is getting better, and I better stop writing now because I need to go thank the people in my life personally, and not through this blog, for always  being there.

Adult ADHD is a neurobiological disorder that can also be categorized as a mental health condition. Symptoms include difficulty with regulating attention (being unable to focus for any length of time, hyper-focusing with the inability to break focus, and difficulty with prioritizing focus) to a level of impairment and possibly, but not necessarily, hyperactivity and impulsivity. ADHD Researchers have studied impairments in the brain chemical neurotransmitters, dopamine, norepinephrine and epinephrine, as being a contributing cause of the disorder.

(For more information on ADHD: http://caddac.ca/cms/page.php?2 )