She sits back this evening and looks at her life; watching herself from a distance; seeing her story unfold slowly; even fast at times. This was not the life she had planned. She thinks of people like him, and the ones she has encountered in her past, and realizes with remorse that where there is good; there is evil as well.

She sees herself, so immature and young; trusting and loving everyone so quickly; she thinks of herself again, so wise with her words; experienced and calm; both sides of her equally dominant.

She feels sad; not angry, not regretful. Too many hurts, too many lies, but lessons too. She is growing wiser each day and each moment, her faith in God becoming stronger, faith in herself weaker.

A chaos within herself, so many feelings, yet none of them relatable.

Do you know the feeling? When your heart wells up suddenly and your feelings are stuck at your throat, but you cannot bring them out no matter what because you are afraid of being judged. Then tears fall and you can do nothing but cry, cry and cry your heart out because every part of it aches with pain.
She asks, her question disappearing into thin air.

Her mind tells her to be sensible, but her head starts throbbing as well, tears engulfing her visions until she cannot see anything anymore; not even herself.

She needs to save herself.

They tell me that I can’t do it. If I could have, then I would have done it already by now. But I watch them. I laugh inside. Laugh at their self agonising life.
They should be supporting me. But I am realizing that those who weave a different path are cut off from the strings.

How did she end up so evil?

Maybe it had to do with the hurts and the lies. Or maybe just a menace of her mind.

Whatever it was, the change had done her good. She looked, and felt powerful.

The walls around her were growing, not in height but in steps. She could see. But when they looked at her, they were reminded of their pain.

There was a ghost in her eyes.

Oh I have to stop this, she thinks in horror. I am turning into a monster.

But the lure of the deceptive, so hard to resist.

Singing to herself, smiling with full lips, the laughter creeping up to her eyes. One day I will rule the world.