Fear

1 Comment

My biggest fear in life
is the fear of failure
The fear when your dad
looks into your face,
and all you see is disappointment
for not getting a 4.0
for laughing too much
for dreaming during the day
for being sick
of never being acknowledged.

The only day I shall be cured
is when I am not afraid anymore
The day when I shall be free,
not from expectations
but from hand-me-down compromises
of the life that I still have not lived.
I wait for that day.
I fight for that day.

Clinomania

1 Comment





My excessive desire to stay in bed
Was mirrored by the choice of your
cologne
that you sprayed on your chest.
Drops of water falling on it
from your wet hair  
made me 
Think
of all the wetness
Glistening between my thighs.
Your baring smile 
Reminded me of the scrape on my neck.

I touch the long bitten spot

Trailing my hand 
down to my heart

I had bared my soul to you. 
Now I cannot get up from the sheets
The blankets mask my stench
My chest bleeds 
drops of water falling on it
It is raining
from my eyes.
my soul has escaped 
Rocketing outside in the speed of light
The force thrusting me back 
into my lair of pillows and feathers
You were my soul. 
I have become a clinomaniac. 

Bring The Pain

3 Comments

Do you know the feeling
When you are happy
And suddenly a wave of sadness hits your soul?
Your hands feel tingly and you start having trouble breathing,
You feel it,
You see it coming
Those minute dews of no colour
Lining your irises
Your lashes blinking back
In reflex
In embarrassment
Of your weakness
But have you ever seen palm trees stopping the tide?

You swallow the lump inside your throat
But you cannot
Because it keeps coming back
Like a cancer in your body
Yes, it is a cancer
But it lives in your soul.

They are staring at you
Trying to comprehend your feelings
You try to smile but they can see your eyes
Because your sadness is like the sun
Have you ever been able to block sunlight with your thumb?

Your life is dark and twisted
They harass you, call you a snitch
But you know you are not one
Because you have so many things
Left unsaid.

But you won’t defend yourself
Because you are tired of fighting
Not with them, but with your inner self
Have you ever tried snapping a rubber band with two fingers?
I have and I know it hurts.
But I can’t stop.

The Killer

3 Comments
I was an internet Diva, I heard you chase girls like that
It’s not in my mind baby, people have told me the fact
Of how insecure you are about not finding love
Of your killer track records that is still soaring above

I was there- maybe you loved me
But there is a difference between love and respect

You never saw my concerns.

For you,
I was just one of them.

And now I stand apart and watch.
Smile to myself at how naive those young girls are.
Same poems, same style, same charm, same magic.

But little do you know darling,
the Hunter gets killed as well. 

Marine Dreams

4 Comments

You make me feel like I don’t have anything to lose. Because I will never get to call you mine ~

Those marine dreams of yours;
A safe zone in the middle of war,
You find peace within the crowd

Because you have a screaming heart
Inside your chest.

Where did your love go so wrong?
That you find yourself deserted
Creating sandstorms all across the field

Blowing people away,blowing love away
Tearing dreams apart.

A picture of us I leave inside your shirt
In your left breast pocket, close to your blood.
But you won’t come back;

Those marine dreams of yours,
Are sinking our memories low.

Rain

4 Comments

the sky flashes
searing open its heart

sending a bolt
to the underworld

piercing through me;
but not past

for i lie at the very bottom
of this treacherous place.

everything is in light
for a second,

i remain invisible.

the Gods scream in agony
their flesh ripped out

by their children
dancing in this showering rain.